The Greatest Golfer with No Future (Piece of fiction with palpable irony)

          His name was Joseph Wilson. Swinging clubs since three, and competing since seven, he knew how to win. When he turned pro, he started on the mini tours, where he won every other week. And in 2015, he was competing on the big stage at age 24, and racking up victories on a record clip.          

   His last five events: five wins, all by at least five shots, all on some of the toughest courses in the world. Pebble Beach, Augusta, Sawgrass, Colonial, Muirfield, he was conquering them all.

Throughout this whole stretch, people were noticing his talent. Pros were admiring his swing and control of the ball. Analysts were praising his ability to run away from the field. Fans were screaming his name after every shot because they were all great. So going into the US Open at Chambers Bay, anyone associated with golf became oracles and were convinced that it was destiny for Wilson to continue his unprecedented streak.

This is the story of his week:

Monday: Joseph flies from his hometown of Tempe, Arizona to Seattle, Washington where his caddie, Todd Jenson, who had been studying the layout for an entire week, picks him up at the airport and drives him forty-five minutes southwest to register for the tournament. He walks into the clubhouse, finds the registration counter, and fills out his information. Once done, he hands the forms to the person behind the counter, and once the papers had been received, Wilson whispers something into the person’s ear.

                He steps back, and the registrar replies back to him, “Well, have a great week, sir. Enjoy it all; this is the best tournament to play.” Wilson acknowledges the comment and leaves the clubhouse so he can get his first look at the golf course.

                From the clubhouse, he walks to the first tee, then down the first fairway, then to the green, with his caddie carrying his bag for him. He does this for all of the eighteen holes on the course, taking his time to examine all of the features of what he will be playing on Thursday. He notices a false front on the green on 3, the slope of the fairway on 8, the different tees that could be played on 18. After his prep, he walks back to the clubhouse and bumps into one of his college buddies: Jordan Spieth.

                “Hey, how’d you hit it today, Joe?” Spieth asks as he spots Wilson.

                “I didn’t hit,” he answers. “Just wanted to check out the track.”

                “Well, alright then. Good luck this week,” Jordan says back with much confusion.

                “Same to you,” Joseph says while shaking his competitor’s hand.

                He walks to his courtesy car with his caddie, puts his clubs in his car, and drives to his ocean-side rental estate for the week.

Tuesday:  Very similar to yesterday. Joseph arrives at the golf course at nine in the morning with his caddie and his clubs. Straight to the range he goes, striking his wedges, irons, woods, and driver to flex his muscles in preparation for his practice round. Soon after the warm-up, he walks five minutes to the first tee, where he started his walk the day before. Joining him was his buddie, Spieth, as well as two amateurs who qualified to play in the event.

                On this day, he plays all eighteen holes with these three players, ultimately shooting 68, a two-under par round at Chambers Bay.

                “A good day today,” Wilson says to the media in his press conference after the round. “Learned a lot more about the course and I know this is a course I will have a lot of success on.”

                The press conference continues for about twenty-five minutes, where he answers questions regarding a multitude of topics, from the course to his streak to his favorite pizza. But in the end, one reporter, Rex Hoggard, brings up something interesting to Wilson.

                “Do you think this week will be the defining moment in your career?”

                “Ummm…” Wilson ponders the question for a moment. “Well, all I know is that the entire week will be very special for me, and hopefully I can I can end it with something very special too.”

                Joseph leaves the press room, grabs a ham sandwich from the clubhouse, gets back into his car, and goes back to his home for the week, where he relaxes on the beach until he goes back to the course tomorrow.

Wednesday: Today is the Pro-Am day, where the professionals in the tournament go and play the course with amateurs that want to learn from the pros. So Joseph arrives at the course at six thirty to see when his Pro-Am tee time. But when he arrives, he found out from an official that there was never a Pro-Am because the US Open is a major championship and players need more preparation than other tournaments.

                Wilson sighs, “Oh well, might as well go back to bed.”

                So, he jumps back in his car, drives to his estate, and takes a four hour nap before taking the day off and just reviewing notes before beginning his next quest.

Thursday: Joseph Wilson arrives back at Chambers Bay and Tuesday’s warm-up returns as well, but at eight AM. After the hour-long warm-up, he steps to the first tee once again, but this time it counts. Once there, he introduces himself to his playing partners, Adam Scott and coincidentally, Jordan Spieth. Once each receives their scorecards and is ready to begin the round, the announcer calls to the fans:

                “Welcome all to the 115^th United States Open Championship. This is the 9:04 am tee time. Now on the tee, from Tempe, Arizona, please welcome, Joseph Wilson!”

                The fans applaud, and Wilson steps to the tee. He stabs his tee into the dead grass that formed from the large amount of foot traffic, and the ball is placed on top of that. With driver in hand, he walks beside the ball and retreats into his stance. Wilson knows this is probably the most important tee shot of his life. The whole world watching him, he pulls the trigger.

                Thwack!! The club smashes the ball, and it flies and flies and flies. It doesn’t touch down for eleven seconds, and when it does, it’s three hundred and twenty yards down the middle of the fairway. The fans explode even louder than before, and Wilson steps aside so the other players can hit. Spieth and Scott stripe their drives down the middle of the fairway, but still twenty or thirty yards behind Wilson, and the group is off, beginning their tournaments.

                Scott and Spieth had identical rounds, with 1-under par 69s that included three birdies and two bogeys. But the real story of the day was Wilson. He birdies holes 1, 4, 7, 9, 16, and 18 for a bogey-free 64.

                “My wedges were on today,” he recalls in his post-round interview. “This was probably the best round I have played this year.”

                “What do you expect the rest of the week, Joe,” Todd Lewis, the reporter, asks after the review of the day.

                “Well,” Joseph begins with his response, “All I’m hoping for is to have fun and enjoy being on the golf course. I am playing in the US Open, right?”

                After the interview, Wilson immediately exits the premises to prepare for tomorrow. After another ham sandwich at home, he goes to bed and dreams about his game plan for the next day.

Friday: Friday plays out the exact same way as Thursday. Another one hour warm-up, another walk to the first tee (except this time at 1:30), another walk around the course with Spieth and Scott, another 69 for his competitors, and another 64 for Joseph Wilson. His twelve-under par total puts him at the top of the leaderboard, ahead of the next competitor by seven shots. Wilson has this tournament at his fingertips.

Saturday: Not as well as the first two days, but still a very good showing for Joseph Wilson . Playing with Ian Poulter in the final pairing, they tee off at two-thirty in the afternoon. Poulter, who was in second place, tries to catch up to Wilson, but it just makes him play worse. Bunker to bunker, hazard to hazard all day, and in the end, he shot 78 and plays himself completely out of the tournament.

                Wilson, on the other hand, hit every fairway and every green, unheard of at a place like Chambers Bay.

                “I could not putt if my life depended on it,” Wilson says to the media after coming in with a bogey-free 69 that included 35 putts. “I will never have that type of putting performance again on the tour.”

                So, even though the round was not what he expected, Joseph extends his lead to ten shots on the field, and with no sign of him slowing down or someone speeding up, Wilson could sleep tonight with no worry of a comeback.

Sunday: And with no worries, Wilson comes out firing on all cylinders. Wilson birdies his first five holes to even further himself from the field. He goes on to birdie 8, 10, 13, 14, and 16. Stepping up to the 18^th fairway, he has a chance of shooting 59, the lowest score ever in a competitive event, with an eagle.

                The drive was right down the middle with a slight draw to gain an extra seven yards. Now he has two hundred and thirty yards, downhill, to a pin tucked on the right. Wilson decides to go for it.

                “I wanted that 59,” Wilson reminisces to the media after the round. “I really, really wanted it.”

                So that’s what he does. Taking a four iron from his back, he sets up left of the flag, pulls the club back, and strikes the ball, causing it to move from left to right, closer to the hole, and closer, and closer, until it lands twenty feet short of the pin and rolls forward until it stops six inches away from the cup. The fans roar from excitement.

                Walking to the green, Wilson high-fives everyone in the gallery along the ropes. When he gets up there, he marks his ball and let his playing competitor finish his day, which was a round of 70. Then, Joseph puts the ball down, picks up his coin, moves to the side of the ball, and taps it into the cup. 59 on the day, 24-under par for the week, and eighteen shots for the difference between him and second place.

                He drops to the ground, crying over this win. Jenson, his caddie, walks up to him and embraces him on the ground. Fans roar and continue to roar as Wilson walks to the clubhouse to sign his scorecard. He signs the scorecard, and then walks outside for a mini interview with the media. After that came the trophy presentation.

                On the eighteenth green is Wilson and Mike Davis, the executive director of the USGA. Davis hands him the forty pound trophy made of pure silver and the fans in the stands erupt. Wilson then steps forward and speaks to the crowd:

                “Thank you. I want to thank everyone here: Mr. Davis, the fans, the volunteers, the other golfers. They all made this event the best event I could possibly play in. This is the greatest accomplishment of my career and I am going to cherish this victory for the rest of my career. Thank you again.”

                The crowd cheers for him once more. Then Todd Lewis approaches to ask for some final responses from the champion. After some basic questions about the tournament, Todd Lewis asks his final question of the evening:

                “So where are you going to be next, Joseph?”

                With no hesitation, Wilson replies, “I am going to retire from professional golf and caddy here at Chambers Bay for the rest of my life.”

                The crowd laughs at first, but then… silence.  They become shocked are scared: Is the best golfer in the world just going to end his golf career after the most impressive golf performance in history?

                Yes, yes he is. He walks off the green, goes to his car, and leaves the facilities, never to be seen at a professional golf event again.