Angry Letter Assignment

Louis Dion
Creative Writing
3/25/15
Angry Letter

Dear Me,

I’m going to make this quick so you can get back to practicing, but I have an important question to ask you: Why have you never had a hole-in-one?

You have been playing golf for twelve years now. You play almost every day after school. You’re the number one player on the golf team. You are amazing at playing golf. Plus, you play a golf course regularly that is all par threes! There is no reason for you not to have a hole-in-one by now.

You probably know this already, but there is about 12500 to 1 odds for making a hole in one in a round of golf. But, there are so many other factors that go into play. The amount of time you have played, your skill level, your extreme accuracy with your wedges and irons; there is no reason that you do not have a hole-in-one by now.

Now, I’ve compiled some more advanced stats about your performance. I calculated that you hit sixty-five percent of your greens in regulation, and your average distance to the hole is about eighteen feet. That’s six yards! All you have to do is aim six yards left or right from where you usually aim and you got yourself a hole- in-one. I know you can at least do that.

Now, what I want you to do is go out and play from sunrise to sunset every day until you get a hole in one. I don’t care that there is still two feet of snow on the ground. If you can see the hole and the tee markers, you can play.

Go out and get swinging, NOW! I don’t want to talk to you until you get the ball in the hole from the tee.

Sincerely,

Me